To be or not to be

Fallen into dilemma whether to go down to Malaga or not.

Elisa said something which made me wonder the whole night. I am the person who would just do whatever I wanted without thinking about the consequence. (hmm....i thought i was told that i always thought to much, less action). A7 was never meant to be my car. ( but she also said that I should rise from the deep sleep, go and brag about it). Some other subjects i couldn't remember now.

But I couldn't help to wonder, am i worthless? Is my fate going to be this jokingly pathetic, depending on her forever if I could never find a way to solve the karma between me and Alicia? God knows that I want to have a life of my own. It's kind of shameful to be so dependent at the age of 41. Just lost the job at Tainan university, and Alicia and AJ are to the ones to be blamed...The thing about me is, I like to take the blames first. I thought I have humbled down to a lot of situations but I guess it's not enough.

The paradox about it is also, she said that I actually had the money for Mingren Rd., That thought really shocked me, I thought it was all Kurt's credit to finally buy the house for the family after years of suffering.Now I don't know what to think of myself, a totaly loser or a foolish giver?

Another small voice inside of me is implying, the Elisa who talked to be late afternoon was influenced by Sisi and Fiona....What a task, please please let me have wisdom! 

Highland

Took the train up to Inverness today. Travel companion was "Eat, Pray and Love". It's kind of inspiring to read this particular book while touring in Europe this time. Gave me some aspects to think about myself, my commitment and maybe my connection with GOD.

The scenery going north was beautiful. I especially adored "Aviemore". The train staion has a distinctive red color and intricate details. Maybe it's all very Victorian...My yearing was to be with the nature. Inverness turned out to be a little charming village, right on the mouth of River Ness. I took a stroll down the river bank. Water was not deep but crystally clean. One could the the pebble stones lying at the bed of the rivier. It was all picturesque in a typical British way, Austerity!

Loved the open space of Scotland, and of course the sheeps, black faced ones are my favorites. The weather was frequently changing from slightly sunny to raining. As I stayed awake on the way back to Edinburgh. I have realized what Jane Austen, Thomas Hardy had depicted in their books about the weather. The open space, green fields, and clouds hovering over the sheeps and cows. It's like going back on a time machines to be with them at the certain moment. I was lucky to see a rainbow down in the valley today. It was difficult to capture with my camera while the train was steering south in a winding track. I solemnly belive, i have been blessed!

Turmoil

Got a call on 6.17 from Tainan University, that they won't  renew my contract next school year. I am still now puzzled and mad about the whole thing. I have been a devoing teacher, maybe more on the demanding side, but I never let my shiled down when it comes to teaching. Life is unfair from this point of view, but I am still digesting it from the optimistic aspect. there will be a window opening when the door is shut for the moment.

Arriving in Edinburgh today from Vienna. Glad to see Molli. She looks a bit rounder than before but the love was still there, She licked my face at one point and it was sweet . It was the typical Highland weather upon arrival in Edinburgh today. No complains whatsoever about the cool temperature. It's nice to be cool than being hot.

Had risotto at Ziggi today in the West End. It was nice and vino blanc was smooth! It was also then I realized that HTC was missing....have to go back to Boot's tomorrow and hoping to retrieve from there!

Fingers crossed!!!

one fine day in Vienna

Had a relaxed yet fulfilling day in Vienna today.Went to lunch at Hanil Korean restaurant on Gumpendorfer strasse today, it took us more than one hour to get there. But we all learn from mistakes. We will take U3 tomorrow which is in the center of Mariahilfer Strasse, not far from Cafe Sperl.

Thought to stop by Musikverign ticket office for luck. Till Fellner was doing a recital tonight and of course I got myself a reward. He played beautifully, but it needed more clarity in Haydn in a nice hall like the Grosssaal. I liked the Liszt Annes de Pelerinage, book ii, italy. He has created many beautiful moments, but i wish he would have played with more forwardness. Kit Armstrong's Nine pieces was greatly composed. Great talent!

Will go back to Hanil tomorrow for lunch again, Yugageon was DELICIOUS!