Fallen into dilemma whether to go down to Malaga or not.
Elisa said something which made me wonder the whole night. I am the person who would just do whatever I wanted without thinking about the consequence. (hmm....i thought i was told that i always thought to much, less action). A7 was never meant to be my car. ( but she also said that I should rise from the deep sleep, go and brag about it). Some other subjects i couldn't remember now.
But I couldn't help to wonder, am i worthless? Is my fate going to be this jokingly pathetic, depending on her forever if I could never find a way to solve the karma between me and Alicia? God knows that I want to have a life of my own. It's kind of shameful to be so dependent at the age of 41. Just lost the job at Tainan university, and Alicia and AJ are to the ones to be blamed...The thing about me is, I like to take the blames first. I thought I have humbled down to a lot of situations but I guess it's not enough.
The paradox about it is also, she said that I actually had the money for Mingren Rd., That thought really shocked me, I thought it was all Kurt's credit to finally buy the house for the family after years of suffering.Now I don't know what to think of myself, a totaly loser or a foolish giver?
Another small voice inside of me is implying, the Elisa who talked to be late afternoon was influenced by Sisi and Fiona....What a task, please please let me have wisdom!
Elisa said something which made me wonder the whole night. I am the person who would just do whatever I wanted without thinking about the consequence. (hmm....i thought i was told that i always thought to much, less action). A7 was never meant to be my car. ( but she also said that I should rise from the deep sleep, go and brag about it). Some other subjects i couldn't remember now.
But I couldn't help to wonder, am i worthless? Is my fate going to be this jokingly pathetic, depending on her forever if I could never find a way to solve the karma between me and Alicia? God knows that I want to have a life of my own. It's kind of shameful to be so dependent at the age of 41. Just lost the job at Tainan university, and Alicia and AJ are to the ones to be blamed...The thing about me is, I like to take the blames first. I thought I have humbled down to a lot of situations but I guess it's not enough.
The paradox about it is also, she said that I actually had the money for Mingren Rd., That thought really shocked me, I thought it was all Kurt's credit to finally buy the house for the family after years of suffering.Now I don't know what to think of myself, a totaly loser or a foolish giver?
Another small voice inside of me is implying, the Elisa who talked to be late afternoon was influenced by Sisi and Fiona....What a task, please please let me have wisdom!
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